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Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).

They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.

The next morning (or even that night) come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?

Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.

There are also various off-shoots of with microsites for gay and lesbian dating, Asian dating, Christian dating and Polish dating. The experts say: For those nervous about dating, this site puts the control in your fingertips allowing you access to thousands of profiles and the ability to chat to potential dates at the rate which works for you.

The love-gods at match also arrange singles events and provide online dating advice. It is well known and therefore attracts a wide demographic, allowing you to widen your dating pool or limit it with their advanced matching facility. Lovestruck helps you target potential partners according to location and it covers many of the major cities across the world.

Lovestruck, one of the easiest, cheapest and safest dating sites where you can search for other professional Londoners working near you, check out their little black book and you could meet someone this lunchtime or after work.Filipinocupid is a first rate dating site from the Cupid Media network that provides advanced search services and high quality dating services to find your perfect match.Customers who are interested in each other can communicate […] Muslima is a first-rate online dating site created to help Muslim single men and women to find true love and to build long-term serious relations." At first, her disclosure strikes you as too much information.But then it gets you thinking: You're single, too — what could be so bad about a casual night in bed with someone you like but don't love?Afro is an African dating site that is committed to providing a quality online dating experience to African singles in search of dating and marriage.